Justin vs. the IMDb: From Paris with Love

Just for fun, I’m going to ridicule IMDb users who hated From Paris with Love. Because I have a blog. And I can do that.

Silly violent action film which takes the name of Paris in vain

Lots of exploding cars, a hundred people or so get killed, many mown down in hails of gunfire, blood spatters all over people’s faces, drugs, terrorists, it’s all in there in a great hodgepodge of nothingness. This film is said to be based on a story by Luc Besson. I’d keep that quiet if I were Besson, as it’s nothing to be proud of. The lead role is played by John Revolta, who is unspeakably hideous to look at and as usual unremittingly disgusting, vulgar, and obscene. If that’s your thing, well … by the way it’s in English and we don’t see much of Paris besides some badly-shot footage from inside a moving car, and a few stock shots with the Eiffel Tower in the background (for those who can’t read five-letter words beginning with P, the name of a capital city in France, uhhhh…..)

What an amazingly full-of-himself little bitch. Can we assume from the fact that he calls John Travolta “John Revolta” that this whiny shitberg was predisposed to dislike this film? I’ll never understand why people like this even watch films they know they’ll hate. And by the way, the movie was filmed in France. If you truly doubt that, you can watch the “making of” featurette on the disc and you’ll even see that they were able to film a piece of it at the actual Eiffel Tower. Stock shots my ass.

From Paris with love…of money

Yea ha, we’re going to make some money on this one. Maybe ol’ Johnny boy can buy himself another plane or give some more loot to that church or whatever it is he belongs to. C’mon pardner, you’re a movie star. You can do whatever you want and you do this. Maybe on paper it looked good. Maybe not. Was there clever dialogue in the script that they cut out because they didn’t want to interfere with the body count? The casting worked, the action did, too, but the movie didn’t. Charlie would do something crazy and then quickly explain right after that it was part of his plan, and they’d tell us he’s unorthodox. Sure, I’ll buy that. That works fine. His loose cannon methods work like a charm. That works fine. Now can I have a serving of speech more than just a fun one liner. Kind of a cool set up but just could have been something more there. It fell short and could have used six or eight minutes more of substance. Let me try that again. It could have used six or eight minutes of substance in general because it didn’t really have any to speak of. Even the Rambo movies have that. They actually have a lot of that compared to this one. Not all the cylinders clicked here, some did but most didn’t.

I don’t have much to say on this one except that if you’re going to accuse Travolta of working only for money, you should probably go review something like Old Dogs instead.

It’s a total mess…

I can’t imagine how dumber a mindless action film could ever be. This is the bottom line. A movie to be taught in universities for how it shouldn’t be.

And what was all that stuff about non-European & non-Americans? All of them? It’s like the movie script could be degraded to a single line:

“Your problem is you’re all foreigners!”

All those little details in the film made me sick because of their shallowness. I think they’re all there just for decoration purposes and to cover the absurdity of the script.

Never gonna watch a Travolta film again, never wanna see a Besson DVD near my player again. Ever…

Jesus, you’d think this guy just found out that John Travolta and Luc Besson had a ménage à trois with his wife. You can’t imagine how a “dumber mindless action film could ever be”? How about…um…maybe 95% of action films made. Most of them don’t even benefit from a charismatic lead. Especially these days, the majority of action films pretty much come down to a shit-ton of computer generated images, with no real characters at all. And with regard to the film’s treatment of foreigners, talk about a guy who needs to learn the definition of tongue-in-cheek. From Paris with Love is essentially a benign satire.

Luc Besson did not put much love in it


And the story of the film is “impossible”. The silliness is taken (sic) to the extreme when Rhys Jones is blood splattered all over the face, with not one single blood spot on his white collar. And like that it goes. It’s almost silly when Rhys is shot in the shoulder quite later in the film. I wonder how the bomb got through the security check, when the guns didn’t. The bomber looked like a power plant, though not able to react like one when needed.

Even the lines, which could have got some cult sense, is not working. But as a film the action and the actors make it worth while to watch as a time killer. Too bad this was not a new Taken or Transporter 2.

What’s worse is the hints of racism, both against Chinese people as well as Pakistani. I was appalled by the couple of sentences, which was completely unnecessary.

Really? You just watched a scene in which Charlie Wax rapelled through a window, killed about ten guys, then slid inverted down a pole and killed about ten more, and you had time to notice that when Rhys Meyers gets splattered with blood, it doesn’t get on his collar? Who are you and why are you so lame? It’s not as though there was even a bucket of blood thrown on Rhys Meyers. It was, like, two thin lines of blood on his forehead. Plus, you lost me when you said that Transporter 2 was a better movie. Seriously? The movie in which Frank Martin flips a car into the air and does a barrel roll in order to remove a bomb from the undercarriage of the car was less silly than From Paris with Love? Sheesh–to quote Bugs Bunny: “what a maroon.”

This movie should be banned!

This movie is full of prejudice, stereotypes, and it’s not funny at all! It is against people of the Islamic faith – GARBAGE! Shoot to kill this movie! It should be banned, what were the writers and directors thinking when they were producing this movie? Very pro-US, shows CIA operatives killing many Chinese and Arab people in the most brutal ways. Makes me feel ashamed of being a part of the western world.(By the way – I’m not Islamic!) Gives you the impression that all Islams wear suicide explosive belts or wish to kill all westerners in some way. This movie fuels hatred against Islam and foreigners in general. Travolta must have been desperate for money if he has accepted this role. Either that, or he lost a bet.

Overreact much? The world isn’t going to end because Luc Besson decided that Islamic terrorism was ripe material for an old-fashioned body count action film. This isn’t a debate on CNN–the filmmakers aren’t obligated to show you that Muslims, Pakistanis, and Chinese exist who aren’t involved in the drug trade or terrorism. It assumes you’re smart enough to already realize that. Though in your case, they probably overestimated the intelligence of their audience.

The worse kind of action movie

“From Paris with Love” is an action movie. Only action, nothing else.

This movie has us confused from the very beginning with no explanations, and they apparently think we don’t need any. There is no plot. No scene makes any sense. Jonathan Rhys Meyers’ character is incongruous. I reluctantly suppose that is to be expected in an action movie.

The action in this movie is done in the matrix-style, sometimes, and only rarely when they actually complete fluid motions of action. Because there is no plot, we generally don’t know the reason for most of the violence. Oh and is there violence. It’s rated PG-13, but it’s machine gun firing with dead bodies flying and blood squirting. Just what I want today’s 13 year-olds to be watching.

The one good thing is John Travolta. This is the skillfully-funny, ultra bad-ass Travolta who is at his all-time best for action. If you are forced to watch this movie, you at least get to look forward to Travolta’s analysis of the grammatical variations on the use of a swear word.

People often say for bad movies to watch them only if you’re fans of the stars. In the case of “From Paris with Love”, watch it only if you are a fan of Travolta. For fans of Jonathan Rhys Meyers, avoid it because you will only be disgusted with the current trajectory of his career.

First of all, there was nothing at all in this film that reminded me of the Matrix, apart from the fact that, yes, there was a lot of shooting and a bit of hand-to-hand combat. The only specifically derivative part was an homage to John Woo during the mannequin shoot-out. But I guess the Wachowski brothers invented action, huh? Second of all, it’s rated R, you numbskull. It would have taken you all of five seconds to confirm that before you took the film to task for being too violent to warrant a PG-13 rating. You say that nothing in the movie makes any sense, but I say nothing in your review makes any sense.

America saves the World

What on Earth is going on here? This film contains every cliché, every bit of corny dialogue and every racial stereotype it’s possible to squeeze in. Do we really need another gun-toting, “hyper-intelligent”, action hero to save us poor hopeless Europeans? At some points in the film there were so many bullets flying our hero would have at least died of lead poisoning should he not have ducked behind flimsy wooden crates. And while we are on the subject of chemistry, there is absolutely none at all between any of the characters. I can’t give this one star- there is worse around, but this makes the Die Hard quadrilogy look like a cinematic masterpiece.

Director Luc Besson? Hang your head in shame.

No surprise that this guy is from the United Kingdom. He’s just butthurt that Charlie Wax makes James Bond look like Caspar Milquetoast.

Okay, okay–I’m kidding. James Bond is still awesome. I do hate reviews like this, though, that offer a catchy yet utterly meaningless critique like “makes the Die Hard quadrilogy look like a cinematic masterpiece”, as though it’s common knowledge that all of the Die Hard films are utter crap. The original Die Hard, if none of the others, is pretty much universally recognized as one of the best action films ever made. I agree…it’s not Citizen Kane, but what action film ever will be? In trying to be clever, this guy just revealed how little he understands about cinema. That’s your own axe to grind, you uptight douche–don’t assume everybody agrees with you.

In any event, you get the point. I’ll stop here.

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