4 Comments

  • fuwalda says:

    Thanks for the plug.

    And, yeah, this is a cool movie if all you want to watch is a film about predators killing humans. It’s almost as good as Predator, which is about the highest compliment I could pay to any Predator movie… except for the first Predator, of course, which *is* Predator.

    And this movie was pretty much all about my boy Larry Fishburne, who should’ve been in it a lot more.

  • Justin Garrett Blum says:

    I’m seriously going to write and draw that Laurence Fishburne fan fiction.

    • I fell asleep during the middle of this movie. Not because it was bad – but because my husband started watching it at 1:30 in the morning! He works the nightshifts at Xbox Live and on his days off he stays up pretty late.
      I meant to watch it later, but never did before the on-demand time thingy ran out.
      From what I watched, I thought it was pretty cool. I was also suprised by Brody. He pulled it off and I believed in his character from the first few moments on-screen.
      And Fishburn needed way more face time in that movie – that was kinda dissapointing. (unless he comes back later in the movie and I just missed it or something…) :/

  • Justin Garrett Blum says:

    There was enough to like about Predators that I would recommend it, to be sure. If nothing else, the opening scene in which Brody’s character is falling through the sky and you’ve no idea why was a neat and inventive way to begin, and it immediately draws you in.

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Predators

Rating: ★★★☆☆ 

I haven’t a lot to say about Predators except that on the whole, I enjoyed it. I think it was smart to go back to basics, as it were, and this film is as straightforward as it gets following some overly complicated entries in the series.

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6 Comments

  • fuwalda says:

    I’m gonna be a loser by going ahead and saying that these aren’t very funny. I’m not saying that because I liked Inception, I’m saying that because I like comedy. Couldn’t you poke fun at any film or story by presenting every story beat and subplot so quickly within the course of a minute that it sounds more confusing than it was? How is that funny?

  • Justin Garrett Blum says:

    Well, I think the joke was more about how rules seemed to change arbitrarily and that when you take a moment to think about some of the plot points, you’re left with more questions than answers, despite the vast amount of exposition offered by the film. It wasn’t simply that condensing the film’s plot into a one minute recap makes it sound confusing, but rather that Inception was convoluted for the sake of being convoluted.

    I don’t know…it made me laugh, even though these weren’t particularly my complaints about the film.

  • Justin Garrett Blum says:

    And as if on cue, I looked the College Humor video up on YouTube and found this in the comments section:

    “@Pivotmakerman Well people who say it’s confusing and stupid because they are stupid. Their comments don’t matter; so we can ignore their comments and stupidity and get on with our lives, enjoying more films like Inception while they can just sit in their living room watching stupid movies like Skyline.”

    It’s unsurprising that the people who think they’re so smart for understanding Inception are actually too DUMB to appreciate that there’s a difference between not understanding Inception and thinking that the film was pointlessly convoluted. You can think it was needlessly over-complicated and still have followed it.

    “@kensia I agree totally. I’ve seen far more confusing films than this. Doesn’t complexity make things more intriuging/better!?!”

    Talk about irony.

  • fuwalda says:

    All signs point to you being stupid.

  • fuwalda says:

    You respond to being called stupid the same way Mary McFly responds to being called chicken. You better cool it before being called stupid gets you into a car accident while racing Needles, forever ending your musical career. Or something.

  • Justin Garrett Blum says:

    Very cute.

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You Just Don’t Get It ‘Cos You’re Not Smart Enough

Regardless of what you thought of Inception (here’s my review of the film if you want to know what I thought), this South Park clip is still amusing.

8 Comments

  • fuwalda says:

    I’m pretty sure Splice came out around the same time as that Human Centipede movie, so my brain kind of lumped them together as one film. By the time I realized they weren’t the same thing, it was too late and I had no interest. Your review certainly isn’t doing much to change my mind. And I think I maybe saw an add for Quarantine, but then I forgot about it and I don’t even know if it came out near me. Maybe I’ll look into it.

    As for this list of “underrated films,” it’s pretty dumb. This just seems like a list of completely random movies that the writer liked it and wanted to talk about. Just because a film didn’t do Avatar like numbers at the box office, it doesn’t make it underrated. Timecop, for example, is perfectly rated. If anything, it’s overrated, because people are still talking about it even though it’s actually a pretty bad movie. If it seems to hold up today, that’s only because it’s just as bad now as it was then.

    Breakdown was good, but as you said, I haven’t cared to rewatch it since it first came out.

    Breach was one of the most boring movies I’ve ever seen. Not a good film. This film’s failure at the box office was well deserved.

    Prime? What is that? A movie about Optimus Prime? How did I miss that?

    Definitely Maybe I’m gonna skip this one. I love my boy Berg, but I’ll wait for Green Lantern.

    A.I., again, is overrated. If even one person on the planet says it was good, it’s overrated. Sucked! When I mention that I disliked this movie, most people talk about the ending and say that I just didn’t get it. Oh, I hated this movie about an hour before it ended. The ending wasn’t the problem. The entire movie was the problem.

    Frailty: Never heard of it.

    Idiocracy kept me laughing, but not as much as you’d want. It was funny, but uneven and ultimately unsatisfying. Even the jokes that worked were way too esoteric and dark for it to achieve any real success at the box office. It’s things like this that annoy me. This film wasn’t dumped into the theaters unceremoniously by a studio that wanted it to fail. It was released in the most cost-effective way possible by a studio that knew they had big dudd on their hands.

    Far and Away? My sister loves this, but I hardly remember it. I seem to recall it being popular when I was a kid. Tom Cruise has many films that are better and more underrated than this one. I bet this film was the Gigli of its time.

    I never saw Death to Smoochy, but I’ve never met anybody who didn’t hate it. A happy day for America was when the movie-going public finally said no to Edward Norton. He’s a fine actor who is still allowed to make movies, but his brief time as a leading man mercifully came to an end after this died at the box office. I might get into trouble for that statement, but I’m fine with that.

    Galaxy Quest is a huge cult favorite that scored big with its intended audience. Hardly underrated.

    Ditto for Tommy Boy. It’s hard to call a movie underrated when, 15 years later, it’s still on TNT and TBS every god damned weekend. Everybody has seen Tommy Boy and everybody loves Tommy Boy. Maybe it didn’t make money at the box office, but so what? It’s a popular, beloved movie.

    Dumb list.

  • Justin Garrett Blum says:

    I think there was probably a good idea somewhere in Splice, but I had trouble with the film, because I was supposed to be able to empathize with the monster (Dren), but the movie didn’t do much to make me appreciate the way the Dren perceived the world. It was too much about the scientist characters.

    Though it was always going to be difficult to get to me to accept that you could just mix up human DNA with a bunch of animal DNA and get a viable lifeform that’s mostly human, except for a bunch of contrived adaptations.

  • Anna says:

    right on with quarantine. i agree with all you’ve said. Jennifer Carpenter was completely believable, i thought, and has done a few more scenes showing that panicky kind of loss of control in Dexter, and quite well, I think. quarantine scared me. cloverfield didn’t it just gave me a large case of the spins, which = not a good time.

    Breakdown was also disturbing, i agree.

  • Justin Garrett Blum says:

    You know the funny thing about Quarantine? Even the semi-literate cretins on YouTube hate it for being a remake of Rec.

    Really, what’s the big deal? If you think it’s a bad movie, fine. But if you just think it’s not as good as the original, what’s the point of getting so outraged about it? Does the remake do some injustice to the original by existing?

    I’m really curious now about Rec, because I genuinely thought that Quarantine was a good film, so it’s difficult to imagine that the original was so much better that it would make me want to go out on the Internet and spread my hate for the filmmakers behind the remake.

  • […] require a classically trained actor to play grizzled, but then again, a week ago, I watched Splice—in which Brody played a spineless hipster scientist—and the difference between that […]

  • fuwalda says:

    I completely forgot you had reviewed this movie. Had I remembered, I would’ve done this remake instead of the original, just out of loyalty to you. Was that gay?

    Rec was great and very scary… but I bet Quarantine was probably more scary, if only because it was in English. That isn’t to say that foreign films aren’t scary, just that it’s easier to get immersed in a film (and thus, more susceptible to being scared) when you aren’t reading subtitles.

  • Justin Garrett Blum says:

    Nah, that doesn’t make you gay. Having sex with me is what makes you gay.

    Damn, I can’t believe I wrote this almost a year ago. That’s another year of my life gone.

  • fuwalda says:

    It’s not even the sex that makes us gay. It’s the cuddling we do afterward.

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Weekend in Review

Splice (2010)

Rating: ★★☆☆☆ 

I wouldn’t be surprised if Splice flew right under your radar. I’m too lazy to check the box office, but I doubt anybody saw it. And really, you haven’t missed much. Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley play extremely unlikable scientists, jointly filling the role of Dr. Frankenstein in this 21st century update of the story in which the monster is a man-made genetic mashup. It’s unsurprising that the user comments on the IMDb show a split between users who loved it and those who hated it–it’s that kind of movie.

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2 Comments

  • fuwalda says:

    Actually, I don’t think they draw ratings anymore. At least, not like they used to. None of those shows are drawing the numbers they did just a few years ago.

    Oh, and I’m a hater. Conan is one of the most annoying, unlikable people in the history of television, in my opinion. I’d rather watch a rerun of Yes Dear or Boston Common than any interviews or comedy bits featuring that guy. And as much as I used to love the Daily Show, the past few times I’ve tuned in, I haven’t laughed very much. And the Colbert Show needs to just go away already. Colbert is one of the funniest people on the planet, but the show had one joke on day one and it’s the same joke years later.

    You know who should hot a talk show? Duckman.

  • Justin Garrett Blum says:

    I still get a lot of laughs out of The Daily Show and even more from The Colbert Report. Good jokes are good jokes, even if the shtick is the same.

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Conan O’Brien

I may as well weigh in, since everybody else in the world has.

I’m not a hater; in my teens, I watched Late Night with Conan O’Brien and enjoyed it. But if I’m watching anything at 11:00, it’s The Daily Show.

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The Lasting Cultural Legacy of Duckman

This is my new favorite website: AntiDuckface.

I’ve been wondering about duck faces for years. The most common duck face (in my experience) is the one seen through a grainy webcam image, and it used to be (maybe still is) pretty much a requirement for any girl under, say…age 22, to have some shitty photo of herself heavily made-up, probably making an “up yours” reverse peace/victory sign, on her MySpace page, or anywhere requiring a personal photo. You used to see that nonsense all the time, especially on those stupid sites like HotOrNot. For some reason, young women think it’s really hot to look like Mick Jagger.

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3 Comments

  • lily says:

    Yeah, the ad is ridiculous. I don’t think it deserves any more explanation. Politics is disgusting.

  • fuwalda says:

    I’m curious about the casting process for this commercial. Did all of these Asian actors really come in to play an evil Chinese guy who is supposed to symbolize everything that is wrong with both our society and China in general?

    Work’s work, I guess. It says a lot about America that our xenophobic propaganda is produced by the free market instead of by the government, like in, say, China.

    Anyway, I think this guy seems like a cool professor.

  • Anna says:

    i liked his evil laugh at the end.

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Article

Is it just me?

After sitting through an entire voting season of advertisements for Sharron Angle that literally demonized all illegal immigrants in an attempt to smear Harry Reid as soft (“an illegal immigrant’s best friend”) on these devious Mexicans who are ostensibly attempting to undermine our country one border crossing at a time (by the way, Nevada doesn’t even share a border with Mexico, but let’s not go there), I thought I had absorbed as much fear mongering as I possibly could this fall. Then I saw this advertisement run on CNN this morning.

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9 Comments

  • fuwalda says:

    Blade 2 is in my top ten favorite movies of all time. It’s just so damn entertaining. Dawn of the Dead is also very entertaining, but I was such a huge fan of the original film that the remake didn’t do a whole lot for me since I never saw the point. However, as remakes go, it was really well done. It’s a good zombie movie.

    And the Civilization games are boring. I have tried so hard to get into strategy games since they are so popular, well respected, and sound really cool. But… no. I just can’t do it. I enjoy the Sims and Sim City, but that’s about as much strategy as I can handle.

  • Justin Garrett Blum says:

    Blade 2 is great. Hell, I’d watch it again right now.

    As much as I love Civilization, I’ve never been able to get into real time strategy games like Starcraft and Command & Conquer. There’s too much going on in games like that and it happens too fast for me. I prefer a more laid back strategy game.

    The thing I like about Civilization is that it’s turn-based, so it’s more like a game of chess. It can take many, many turns–an entire game’s worth, really–to see a plan come to fruition. It’s often less about producing the right units and deploying them correctly than it is about effective city management throughout. Civ V gets the balance right even more than previous games in the series, because for military victories, it’s no longer about producing the most units.

    The thing I don’t get is that there’s a multiplayer option. As cool as it sounds to match up against other humans, who would have the patience for that?

  • fuwalda says:

    Just the record, I also hate chess.

  • Justin Garrett Blum says:

    I’m glad we have that on record.

  • Andrea Blum says:

    Okay, I know I don’t belong in this conversation because I don’t like any of the movies you’re talking about. What’s the opposite of chick flicks?

    Anyway, I did see a movie this week where I had to watch it between the fingers of my hands. The name is The House of the Devil. Not that much happens in it, but the suspense waiting for something to happen kills you!

  • Justin Garrett Blum says:

    How do you know if you like them? Have you ever seen them?

    I don’t know: guy flicks?

    Hmm…I’m reading the synopsis on the IMDb. Sounds pretty weird. I’d watch it.

  • Andrea Blum says:

    I’ve seen them, but I don’t guarantee I’ve stayed awake. First of all, I don’t usually like any humor in my horror.

  • Justin Garrett Blum says:

    I guess you’re a purist, though it’s pretty sad that you probably think Orphan is a better film than Blade II.

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Week in Review

Just so that nobody thinks I’m dead…

My life last week consisted primarily of me playing Civilization V. I’ve been lucky enough to be able to take paternity leave to care for my new daughter (sadly, today was my first day back at work), but she doesn’t do a whole lot right now except eat, sleep, and poo, so I wound up purchasing a new video game.

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