Nothing to do with anything, but last night I dreamed that I was posting on my blog about something that I had dreamed about inside of my dream. Did somebody perform an inception on me?

Anyway, here are a couple of stupid things I actually learned about on the forums for Star Wars: The Old Republic and then researched on Wookieepedia.

The Expanded Universe contains a Hutt named Beldorion who was first a Jedi Knight and later a Dark Jedi who enslaved an entire planet before being killed in a lightsaber duel with Princess Leia. I don’t know…a Jedi Hutt. That just cracks me up. Visit that link to see an image of Beldorion.

This second thing actually pisses me off a little, because I always sort of got annoyed when people would say that Palpatine would never lose a duel to Mace Windu, and that he threw that fight just to get Anakin’s sympathy. I don’t know…anything’s possible, I suppose, but Mace Windu is not Kit Fisto, okay? Windu was basically supposed to be equivalent to Yoda, and possibly the best Jedi duelist of his time. It’s really not a stretch in my mind that he could have defeated Palpatine fair and square.

Yeah, I know how silly it is that I get even slightly incensed over a debate about Star Wars. I’m only mentioning it to explain that I’m already annoyed at the amount of meta-analysis that has gone on about that scene. So when I found out that the so-called “canon” doesn’t even give Windu credit for fucking up Palpatine’s face, I got even more annoyed.

Supposedly, Palpatine was already looking pretty ugly as a result of his use of the dark side of the Force, but in order to present an acceptable appearance for his rouse, he employed a Sith Alchemy technique that literally changed his appearance at the molecular level. Somehow and for some reason, people say, Palpatine’s alchemical mask dropped while fighting Windu, possibly because he allowed it to, possibly because he couldn’t maintain the concentration required to uphold it, or possibly because it just got melted off by the lightning from his hands.

I’m sorry…just…no. Apparently, even George Lucas has confirmed that he was using this “mask” technique. As “proof” that Palpatine’s melted face was completly owing to the dark side, people point to the fact that nobody else who ever got zapped by force lightning (for example, Luke Skywalker in Return of the Jedi) got melted. Yeah, but…Luke didn’t have a full force blast fed back from the blade of Mace Windu point blank right into his face. These scenarios are totally different. The Emperor was just toying with Luke–not fighting for his life–and even then we see steam coming off of Luke after being electrocuted.

Why do fans have so much trouble believing what they see with their own eyes in the movies? This really wasn’t worthy of a No-Prize-style explanation. I’m willing to go along with the idea that he might have been using some sort of technique to repair the damage that the dark side had done to his body, and I might even give you that his fight with Windu caused him to lose control of it. But his face is so messed up, I just can’t believe that having a freakin’ lightning bolt dancing on your face for ten seconds had nothing to do with that.

My annoyance about this is really less to do with being a fan and more to do with hating how other fans need to second-guess everything.